9. “It’s Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Never mind.”
8. “Ralph Nader here. Glad to hear I’m not the only politician who has to pay for it.”
7. “Hi, I’m calling from the ‘New York Post.’ Would you rather be known as ‘Disgraced Governor Perv’ or ‘Humiliated Whore Fiend’?”
6. “This is John McCain. If it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln’s wife.”
5. “It’s Dr. Phil. Call me if you need any horse**** advice.”
4. “This is Sen. Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?”
3. “It’s Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way.”
2. “Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free.”
1. “It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I’m no longer America’s creepiest governor.”
